Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Ageing by Mike Sutherland Richard Ward Ian Rivers

Author:Mike Sutherland, Richard Ward, Ian Rivers [Mike Sutherland, Richard Ward, Ian Rivers]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Nonfiction, Social & Cultural Studies, Social Science, Social Work, Health & Well Being, Health
ISBN: 9780857005373
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Published: 2012-07-15T04:00:00+00:00

Bereavement

Being unable to disclose one’s sexual orientation or having limited support networks can have a profound impact during times of bereavement. The full strength and importance of relationships which may fall under the “umbrella” term of friendships may not be recognized, which can lead to disenfranchisement occurring prior to and after the death of a partner or close friend. This concept was initially developed by Doka (1989), who defines disenfranchised grief as: “the grief that persons experience when they incur a loss that is not or cannot be openly acknowledged, publicly mourned or socially supported” (p.4).

Those involved in non-traditional relationships may be excluded in a number of ways, such as not being able to have an active role in the care of the dying, or by not having their grief acknowledged (Walter 1999). For example, Jeremy discussed how he and his partner (David) had not disclosed their relationship to anyone. When David died, his family made the funeral arrangements in which Jeremy had no say:

I knew he wanted burial and he wanted to be buried next to his mother. He ended up being cremated the other side of (city) and cremation was totally against his religion… I couldn’t stop them but it was like strangers organising his funeral; I was his family… But he never wanted it to be known that he was gay. (Study 1)

Another participant recalled a friend who did not get compassionate leave when his partner died, and very little recognition of his loss other than from close friends:

Michael: I went to his funeral and the family were none too happy with the situation, I don’t think they wanted people knowing their son, brother was gay. And my friend who was grieving, he’s been with his partner for years, he never got a mention from the vicar, not one. (Study 1)

These accounts provide examples of disenfranchisement: the exclusion of one group or person by another group or person, such that their relationship with the deceased and their grief goes unrecognized. Even for LGBT elders who have been open about their relationships, the strength of their relationships may not always be recognized and therefore a person may not be supported through bereavement.

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